My Journey as a Single Dad
- Spirtual Jimeneye
- Apr 1
- 5 min read
Updated: May 3
I first want to dedicate this post to my daughter... Like, this is all about the journey between her and me. So yeah.
Next, I dedicate this to anyone that has arrived here. I purposely refrain from sharing on socials because this blog is a way for me to share with those that are curious about... well, me! So if you found your way here, know that I really appreciate you!
So how did I get here?
Let’s just say… I got here. In an effort not to point fingers or cast anyone in a bad light, I’ll leave certain details where they belong. That’s just not who I am. I’ve made my peace with a lot of things, and I choose to move forward.
July 2021—Montana
Well, on this day I began my long flight from DFW to Montana. But before the flight, it started with a drive from North Louisiana to Dallas; about three hours. What made it crazier was that this was all last minute, right in the middle of that social-distancing phase of COVID. Yeah… that time.
I had three days to get my daughter, or the State of Montana would have made other arrangements. And after 30 days, she would have entered the foster system. So whatever had to be done—whatever had to be spent—was not even a question. At that point, I had already gone about six months without seeing my daughter at all.
Again, this story is about when I became a single father, not about every detail of how it happened.
What I will say is this: that day, I was exhausted. Worn down. I know I had caught some kind of sickness. Was it COVID? Probably. But I kept the strongest game face I could. Mind over matter. I’d go one hour feeling like absolute shit, then five hours where I felt almost normal again. Just enough to keep moving.
Did it catch up with me? Oh yeah—it did. We’ll get there.
But in that moment, I finally arrived in Montana, met with CPS, and made the exchange.
After we got to the hotel:
The Journey Home:
The journey home was actually pretty straightforward. We did have to run through a couple of airport gates so we wouldn’t miss our flights, but in the end, we made it.
Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: my baby’s hair was purple, blonde, and brown.
Man… that had me feeling some type of way. To be fair, she got a lot of compliments on it and people loved it. But for me? It was a lot. A little too much. We’ll address that later.
From there, we made a pit stop around 3 a.m. at my brother’s house, and that’s when whatever sickness I had really started kicking in. I woke up, hung out for a bit, and then we made our way home.
And that’s when it all really hit me:
I was a single dad.
I felt like absolute crap.
Wow… I am really a single dad.
If you had told me even a year earlier that this would be my reality, I wouldn’t have believed you. But there I was.
And let me tell you—that first week was brutal because I was sick, but I had to immediately go into parent mode, but at the same time, I had to nurse myself too. I have a strong and supportive family, but I was determined to handle it myself because deep down I needed to know:
Can I really do this?
Dad Mode & the First Couple Weeks
Background, I closed on my home probobly 2 months prior and based on the officials and legal stuff, I had already known I would have full custody but it was all still speculative because of the whole still have to locate aspect. So I say that to say, I already has her room waiting on her. From my Spritual Jimeneye POV, in January of that year I wrote a goal on a poster that I would buy a home by my birthday.. well I closed on my home 2 days before my birthday.
Where is my mom?
Yes, this was rough. I really can’t say it any other way—this part was brutal. I had to be very careful with how I explained things, but in different ways I kept telling her, “Mommy had to go to a place to help herself.” At that age, you’re trying to protect innocence while also knowing they feel way more than they can explain.
Sleeping in her own bed.
No—not at all. This was a very longgggg journey. I am a very hot-bodied person, so having my daughter sleep with me every night was rough. Getting kicked in the side, her hunkering under me just to snuggle, all of that. Mind you, I normally sleep in underwear, but with my daughter there I had to throw on shorts and adjust everything. So yes—it was brutal, but we got through it. I slept with the temp on 65 degrees (still do haha), the ceiling fan on, and a floor fan running too.
Boo Boo
If my daughter ever reads this, she’ll probably give me an earful, but we went through some very real moments. There was a time she didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. She went in there, came back out in different clothes, and I asked, “Baby, why did you change clothes?” She immediately started crying. I checked the closet and found underwear full of BOO BOO. Yes—BOO BOO. So I told her not to worry, that she always needed to tell me when something like that happened. I let her know it was okay—but also not okay—and we just worked through it together.
Adjustments
Before I became a single parent, I’ll be honest: my ex mostly handled food, bathing, and a lot of those day-to-day things. I helped, but she mostly carried that part. Our situation was unique. We had already gone through a three-year separation, then got back together for about eight months, and then… yeah, I’ll leave it there. But when it came to primary parental responsibilities—healthcare setup, appointments, and paperwork—she had usually handled that. So when all of it landed on me, it became a learning curve. Not impossible, just a real adjustment.
The real adult stuff.
Insurance, immunization shots, school registration, healthcare paperwork—all of it. I swear that month was rough because I had to adjust fast and learn fast. Remember, we had split for about three years, and then I had eight months of getting back into the rhythm of parenting again. Before that, being a dad looked like FaceTiming, making sure child support happened without anyone having to ask, and doing what I could from a distance. Then after eight months, six months of no contact… boom—I was a single dad.
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